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Stevie Thor |
Topic: Film Bleu: The Forgotten
Posted: 2004-11-08 @ 14:05:18
I remember a time where movies had a thought process involved. Wait, no I don't. Either way, The Forgotten had none. It is a movie filled with plot-holes and unexplainable explanations with talented actors. This movie is the equivalent of a steaming dog turd, wrapped in elegant Christmas wrapping paper.
Gerald DiPego (screenwriter) goes all out in naming the characters. The heroine (Julliane Moore) is named after seems to be named after a pigeon, Telly. The hero (Dominic West), who is a hell of a lot like Ash from Evil Dead, is named Ash. Amazing coincidence, no? And, finally, the amazingly named villain, Friendly Man (Linus Roache).
The Forgotten opens up immediately with Telly Paretta (Moore) going crazy, giving us no time to get to care about her or her life. Her dead son starts disappearing in pictures and no one remembers him. She gets a visit from the horrible unintelligent psychologist Dr. Munce (Gary Sinise). Everything he tells her comes out in a gush of pointless bullshit.
Telly then runs to her old friend, hokey retard Ash Correll (Dominic West). Ash has no idea who she is, so, like any rational human being, she starts ripping the wallpaper off of his office walls. He calls the police and she gets taken away. Before she goes off in the car, he runs up to the window and screams "I REMEMBER!" and breaks her out of the car. This is one of the best scenes in the movie, in my opinion. Not because of the drama, but because I imagine my self seeing a famous hokey player run up to a police car holding someone he just got arrested, screaming "I REMEMBER! I REMEMBER!" and kicking a window. It's a funny thought, when you think about it. Especially since he could have just dropped the charges and be on his way.
What does Ash remember? That he forgot to flush the toilet before kicking the window of a cop car? That he's a drunken moron? That he once was considered a good actor? Probably, but that's not what they were going for. What he remembers is that he, too, had a child that died in the accident and forgot about. A drunken brute who forgets you; great father, huh?
Both are now on the run from the police. While being chased, Telly stops to look up at the sky. The clouds form a moving donut which looks less realistic than John Travolta's hair on Battlefield Earth. This, of course, means... That's right, Aliens.
Aliens have, for the same reason they do anal probes, killed off children and watched their mothers squirm. Then, just to fuck with them more, they erase their memory of it completely.
While on the run, they run over a random stranger, beat the hell out of cops, try to convince her husband, Jim Paretta (Anthony Edwards), that they are married, and tell Dr. Munce where they are. They would have been more incognito if they ran down the street, covered in butter, screaming "I AM THE WALRUS, COO COO CA CHOO!".
The aliens don't like the fact that they know one bit. So, what's there solution? They abduct people. They pull them right into the sky in broad daylight in crowded cities, because the aliens want to be stealthy about the project. This process involves strapping a harness around the waste of the actor and pulling them full force upward, giving them the effect of flying by the power of their asses. This, of course, leads me to believe that the aliens put a "return to sender" sticker on the anal probes.
Ash gets sucked into the sky and Telly goes to meet ol' Friendly Man, the great alien villain who stole her child. Before she walks in, Dr. Munce shows up, telling her he knows everything. He's known since the beginning. He says he's one of the good guys, and then walks away. "Don't worry Telly, I'll help you! ...After I finish my coffee, bye!"
The alien can't erase Telly's memory so he makes the ugliest monkey face known to man then gets sucked into the sky. Telly goes to the playground, because, unlike the rest of the humanity with cognitive thought, she realizes that killing a clay-faced alien means her son's alive again.
That's it. That's the whole movie. Good job, Hollywood, you've proved that I can tap my vomit down, even at extreme levels.(2)Comments
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